The weeks after were quiet in the worst way. Sabine deleted her posts. Mom did not call. Agatha did, twice a week, just to ask whether I had eaten something that day, and I understood she was being careful with me the way nobody had ever been. Tilly sent me a photo from the party. It was the only picture anyone took of me that night, in the red dress, standing by the doorway, and underneath she wrote one line: You looked like the person who made everything happen, because you were.

Mom came to my apartment in the spring. She sat at my small table and admitted she had said those words at my tenth birthday because her own mother had said them to her, and she had never once asked herself why she kept repeating them. We are slower with each other now. Sabine and I are polite, and that is enough for this season. I still have the red dress. I wear it on ordinary days, for no reason at all. For twenty-seven years I believed that if I carried enough, someone would eventually notice the weight. They never do. You have to set it down in front of them, and then walk out into the cold and let yourself be seen without it.