Theodore was dead. He had died in that explosion, exactly as Desmond told me. That part had never been a lie. But Desmond had loved me too, quietly, since before my wedding. When Theodore died, Desmond saw a chance. He kept the letters as insurance, making certain no word from Theodore could soften my grief enough to make room for him.
I never made room for anyone. I waited for a dead man for fifty-six years, while Desmond waited beside me without confessing. He died last spring. Bertram had found the letters while cleaning out his father’s house. The note pretending to be Theodore had been Bertram’s idea. He did not know how else to make a grieving stranger come and collect her stolen mail. I could barely breathe as I listened, because his confession reopened everything.
He told me that “Honey,” “act normal,” and “Desmond lied to you” were the desperate words of a man who had watched his father steal a woman’s whole life and did not know how to give it back gently. I read the letters over the following months. They were beautiful. Theodore called me his yellow rose in nearly every one. He seemed more alive on that paper than any bouquet could have made him, and I grieved him again at eighty-one.
Desmond had arranged the flowers years ago, Bertram told me. A standing order for yellow roses, every anniversary, delivered after Desmond’s death. It was the one kind thing he ever did for me, and he could only manage it once he was safely gone. I keep the letters in the box that held our wedding photographs. Theodore never came home, but he wrote faithfully until the week he died. After fifty-six years, that was the truth I had actually been waiting for.
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